ATTENTION

Have you ever had one of those moments when your parents admirably share intricate nuances about who you’ve been your entire life? Ones that they perceive as charming, adorable and highly entertaining, but unbenounced to them, these things can actually be perceived as negative? 

Well the other day my boyfriend and I are talking to my mom on the phone, and Josh mentions a recent public speaking engagement I had. And my mom responds, “oh yes, Ashley loves attention.” 

To which inside I kind of cringed. But why? My mom meant this as a positive thing. 

Usually when we say someone loves attention or doesn’t mind (slash loves) the lime light, it’s usually perceived as a negative thing.  

I will admit, my mom isn’t wrong. I love attention.  I’ve often been deemed a social butterfly. I’ve always loved public speaking, performing and entertaining, and all of these things include ATTENTION.  

So okay I guess I “love attention.” But I am convinced it isn’t for a self absorbed, I need validation, kind of reason.  

I LOVE attention, because in order to truly connect with someone, inspire someone, encourage someone, motivate someone, journey with someone, make someone smile or laugh, or make a little happier... you need their ATTENTION.  

Sometimes we so quickly jump to the conclusion that extroverts or entertainer type personalities love attention for all the wrong reasons, when really they may want attention only so they have the gateway to give something away or add something to someone’s life.  

I think that’s why my mom was speaking about it proudly!  

If you want someone’s attention to see them smile, be encouraged forward in life— I say, go for it, love attention... when it’s actually not about you, but it’s actually about others.  You need people’s attention to make an impact, to be in relationships, to change the world! 

Also, maybe your thoughts are travelling to a place mine have... well what makes people think they can add anything to my life? Let’s be real— we can all add to the lives of people around us, that’s being the loving generous humans we were created to be. It has nothing to do with being self righteous but instead a loving, generous, people oriented person. 

So yes. I’m with my mom. I love attention. Because I love loving, connecting with, and encouraging people. 

Shout out to all the attention lovers! ❤️ 

Ash XO  

What are you looking for?

What are you looking for?

So yesterday my mom call’s me and tells me she bought 5 pairs of shoes at Payless. And she got 5 pairs for under $50. So naturally, I went to payless. (I swear I don’t like shopping)…

So I get there and read a sign telling me that any shoe with a red tag is now $5 or $10. There were hundreds of shoes, but I was only paying attention and looking at the one’s with the red tag.

So I saw the shoes with red tags, and the hundreds of other shoes that were present, and within my view, I didn’t see. (Thank God!)

My point here is this. You will see what It is you’ve set intention to see. If your mind is focused on negative thoughts, you will see negative things around you. If you focus each thought on goodness, thankfulness, positivity, blessings, that is in turn what you will see and notice in your life.

Sure, both may be present, within view, just like there were sale shoes AND regular priced shoes, but I saw what I intended to see… the sale.

There may be difficult things in your life, as well as boundless blessings, both may be present, but what will affect you most is what you give your attention to. Will it be the blessings, or the difficulties?

What is it you are looking for?

Phillipians 4:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Ash

Replace Expectation with GRatitude

As I am sure everyone is aware, it is the American Thanksgiving holiday weekend. Instagram feeds are full of our American friends and celebrity favorites' dining room tables decked out with beautiful table wear, dishes, and finishing touches of thematic décor. And don’t forgot, the amazingly good looking food, family, and friends. 

I love any occasion to get together with people I love and celebrate—when we appreciate what we have, and celebrate what we have, and one another, there is joy built up inside our hearts and minds as we become conscious to the fact that there is so much goodness in our lives that we don’t even deserve. Often times, we miss out on the beautiful things in our lives because our attention is on things we don't have, leading us to never enjoy what we do have or what we don't have, leaving us empty. 

Along with an Instagram feed full of thanksgiving dinners, are thanksgiving quotes. One that I read said this:

“Replace expectation with gratitude”

If you simply play over a few scenarios in your mind of an expectation you have for life or a situation or a person, I think you will quickly realize that beneath an expectation we have of someone or something, is something even greater to be thankful for.

Don't let the distraction of an expectation take away the awareness, joy and appreciation of what you do have! 

Most times you’ll realize that the one thing your stubbornly “expecting” is far smaller in magnitude than all that you have already received. Start thanking rather than expecting, expecting, expecting.

Everyone will be a lot more joyful, harmonious, full, and the list goes on!

We will never truly live in the fullness of everything we have, everything we are, if we never fully appreciate in gratitude all that is around us.

Be thankful everyday for what you have, for who you have, for who you are! When you realize that all you have is enough, you have everything that you need... Thankfulness breeds contentment, which breeds joy, despite circumstances and leads to a full way of living.

ThankFULLness. Is the way to live the FULLest life possible.

Count your days

This week I heard a few people quote this Scripture verse…

Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)

Understanding life is short...so that we may grow in wisdom... so we may live carefully wise, intentionally investing the time that we do have, instead of carelessly spending it away to no purposeful end. 

A wise man COUNTS his days and makes them count. Not with a YOLO attitude that lives careless moment to moment in whatever feels good, but instead looks to capitalize on every moment they are given in order to make the most lasting impact possible.

What kind of life do you want to live? What do you want your life to look like? Hopefully it’s one that is full of love for others, uplifting others,  journeying with others to become the best version of  ourselves, living generously... and the broad stroke list can go on…

Write out some of these things. Vision.

Now, only make decisions that support that. Why would you make decisions to slow down or get in the way of that vision you have for your life?

A small example I can think of happened yesterday. After finishing a long day of work, I just wanted to go home and flake out in that moment (meaning do nothing) and NOT go to the gym as I had planned. However, I knew that if I just got myself to the gym it would aid the vision I have for my life of valuing and making time for physical health and fitness. I knew that making the decision to go even when I didn't feel like it, was going to be a small building block in having the life that I desire. If I were to not go, I would have regretted it later. 

Make decisions today that you will thank yourself for tomorrow. That support the vision you have for your life. Don't "use" your time but invest your time, wisely.  

We don’t know how many days we have, so live on purpose—a wise man counts his days AND makes them count.

SOCIAL // The REEL and the REAL

I have taken 1001 personality tests, gifting tests, HR tests and they pretty well all set sociability as my highest or strongest attribute as a person.

And I think it makes sense, I can’t really argue with it. I love people, I love connecting with people, being with people, doing life with people, learning from people, sharing with people, and it’s my greatest aspiration to inspire and encourage people to be exactly who they were created to be living out their full potential. That is what drives me and makes me most excited and happiest.

I genuinely believe that life is best when we are connected to other people, journeying alongside one another, SHARING in our experiences. It’s one of the reasons I actually ENJOY social media when I know it so often gets such a bad wrap.

There are a lot of people I want to keep up with that I can’t see everyday whether they’re in a different country or province, or sometimes our schedules don’t allow, but social media allows me to keep up with their lives, and SHARE in their experiences and in turn, share with them mine. (Caveat—social media should never act as your only point of connection or even the main point of connection with a friend, but I see it more as a cherry on top that allows you to share with others throughout your day-to-day comings and goings.) 

I follow friends, family, and love seeing what everyone’s up too… I also love following people who inspire me, that are further ahead of me in life in perhaps their maturity, wisdom, abilities, experiences and I receive their posts as challenging and inspiring rather than being comparative and envious in a negative sense.

I love the verse in the Bible that says this…

Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. – Matthew 5:16

From my perspective, I want to use social media as an outlet where I can be open house with people and only HOPE that it may inspire others and connect me with others. But in saying that, I think that we must be real, vulnerable, and not only show the highlight REEL, but also be REAL.

When we only express and communicate the rainbows and sunshine it can actually make us inaccessible when the entire time our heart and motives were attempting to connect with people and BE accessible. 

I’m a shameless sharer. It may look like I’m obsessed with self haha, but actually I simply love journeying with others in community. I love doing life with people around me.

But you see the thing is, I’m also an optimist. The world could be crashing down around me, and you’d talk to me and think I was on vacation in paradise. Sometimes this is a strength, and sometimes it’s the biggest weakness.

The balance of maintaining realism and vulnerability as well as joy and optimism is so important. The balance that recognizes that things aren't always perfect or easy, but also looks to maintain joy, positivity, and an unwavering gratefulness, appreciation and excitement that we are blessed with LIFE! (Is my optimism coming through? haha) 

Maybe you follow me on social media and have recognized my new morning routine. Or maybe I’m being totally presumptuous thinking you’d even be interested. But getting up every morning at 5:00 am to read my Bible, pray, and hit the gym, isn’t always flowery… most mornings my first thought is: “It cannot be 5:00 am ALREADY I cannot get up yet, I won’t make it through the day without another hour of sleep…” But I get up. And actually enjoy it and my day is better for it.

You may see me laughing at work having fun with coworkers, braiding each other’s hair, (it’s important to have a joyful workplace culture where you can laugh a little okay...) but there are days when I’ve worked 15 hours and feel completely strung out! Maybe you think I am on consistent vacation travelling when 90% of my travelling is work related and takes me away from family and friends. 

Maybe you recently saw that I moved and my house is SO cute and I love that it got set up pretty quickly. But you didn’t see that I was pretty sad during that time as well because my family lives in different parts of the country.

All that is to say, my life isn't always sunshine and roses, but I do love my life everyday even when there are difficulties, and make it the absolute best day I can... why? because I am so grateful and excited that we have been blessed with life-- and I believe we should live it to the fullest. 

Overall, what I’m learning is this.

1) Living life in community and connection with others is AMAZING (the best way to life)

2) Living in community and connection SHOULD NOT be selective. When we are willing to journey through everything together, not leaving the sometimes difficult realities out, our connection with others, and with self, is much stronger and actually helps produce more joy, support, peace and perseverance.

3) I love you guys. Whoever is reading this. And it’s my heart to journey with you though life in some capacity, being real, honest, accessible, relatable, inspiring and connected.

Ash xoxo

 

the journey.

“We don’t become more spiritual by becoming less human” – Eugene Peterson

Far too often we allow our desire to be “the ultimate version of ourselves” to drive us to repression rather than realism. We feel as though any mistake we make detracts from becoming “that version” of ourselves that we desire.  This type of repression of admitting failure, weakness, or our need of help actually causes separation within us and with those around us. Our relationships suddenly lack vulnerability setting us up for surface level interactions, lack of true connection, a crippling façade, a life no authenticity. 

When we repress things we are dealing with, we also eliminate the opportunity to actually work through those things, coming out the other side stronger...

It’s not about accepting where you are and staying there. It’s about recognizing where you are, so you can find your next step forward.

Picture yourself on a road trip. And you get lost. It’s impossible to find out how to get where you are going until you figure out your current location. It’s only then that you can know what direction to go, what step to take and where to begin to get to your destination.

Acknowledge where you are in life, and then gracefully remind yourself of where you’d like to be, and courageously take a step forward in that direction. And tomorrow, take another step.

& Don’t forget to enjoy the journey :) 

- Ash

The Life of Freedom

This morning I read Galatians 5 in Eugene Peterson's paraphrase. And it's incredibly impacting. Many in the North American culture have been conditioned to believe that when we are living for ourselves, acquiring things for ourselves, achieving things for ourselves, building this grandeur life for ourselves, we are free. But what if it's that selfish, self-centred striving type of living that actually ends up enslaving us and ultimately takes away the true freedom we are intended to live in. I'm just going to let Eugene's paraphrase speak for itself... Hope you find it inspiring in some way. 

It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?

My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.

I think that's enough to chew on for the day... 

Ash 

DIP AGAIN

If you know anything about fishing, you know that it is an activity that requires patience. And quite often you don't catch a fish on the first dip of your line. 9/10 times that my dad goes fishing, he comes back catching nothing. Yet, for 40+ years, he has continued the activity and has enjoyed the process, even the times that he comes home without a fish. 

"So he went down and dipped himself in the Jordan seven times, as the man of God had told him, and his flesh was restored and became clean like that of a young boy." -- 2 Kings 5:14

The "he" in this passage from the Bible refers to a man named Naaman who had leprosy. He was told that if he dipped into the Jordan 7 times, that he would be healed. 

I can imagine that on the 1st time, 2nd time, 3rd time and so on, Naaman was probably feeling a little dejected that his skin still was infested with the terrible disease. But he didn't stop dipping. He obeyed despite perhaps not seeing the immediate healing or results that he wanted. 

Sometimes we stop short, on dip 3 or 4. We give up just short of our breakthrough on the "7th dip"...

Dip again. And don't grow weary in your obedience to God. He has amazing plans for your life. Dip again. Maybe for you it will be with 7th dip, or maybe it's the 100th dip. But I am sure of this-- God is faithful, He is good, He has good plans for you, and His timing is perfect. 

"So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." - Galatians 6:9