If you’re like me at all, you probably find yourself writing out goals, intentions, to-do lists etc… on the regular. All of which I think are good things, but have you noticed how often they eb and flow and change?

Recently, I’ve been reading a book on knowing your principals... it’s called PRINCIPALS by Ray Dalio. He speaks of principals as values or beliefs by which you live by despite the situation season or circumstance, they remain constant— acting like as solid foundation.

Here were two statements within that book that I have found very thought provoking.

1) Don’t confuse what you wish were true with what is really true.

I think this statement really challenges the optimist. While I think optimism is amazing and I encourage it, it’s also important to hold in balance what is actually reality. If we try and work ourselves into thinking things are one way, when they aren’t, when those situations start failing to meet our expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointment and can sometimes end up in a situation we never really wanted, but we chose because we convinced ourselves it was something it wasn’t. (I hope that’s not too hard to follow.) At least when we can recognize things for what they are, we can then work to see change, or perhaps sometimes realize we may need to choose something else before we invest so much into an “orange” that’s never going to be an “apple”.

2) Don’t overweight first order consequences relative to second and third order ones.

This is another challenging one. We often see, especially in our millennial generation, the first order consequence of our decisions and choices. And these first order consequences either encourage us to make the decision or to NOT make the decision.

Should I work out?
1st order consequence: I have to expend a lot of energy and I will be sore.
3rd order consequence: Feel better about oneself, and increase health mentally and physically.

Because of the 1st order consequence, what we REALLY want (which is the 3rd order consequence) is derailed by the distraction of the first. It’s important as we evaluate our decisions that our desires won’t always line up with our goals, but sometimes might even distract from our goals.

Should I order this sweater online because it’s so cute even though I have 200?

1st order consequence: I’ll have a new sweater to wear to Thanksgiving dinner!
3rd order consequence: Darn, I should have used that money somewhere else and now I have no room for anything anymore and feel disorganized.

I am taking on the challenge to weigh out 1st, 2nd, and 3rd order consequences in my decision making, and I encourage you to try it too.

Anyhow, some things I’m learning along the way. Thought I’d share :)

- Ash