Don't be reluctant to claim your achievements

Hey friends! So our last three blog posts focused on different recipes for success in 2020. Our next focus will be HABITS TO BREAK in 2020! Our first one is our reluctance to claim our own achievements.

Great work doesn’t always speak for itself. If you’re not willing to be your own advocate and fan why would someone else? This doesn’t make you an obnoxious self promoter, it doesn’t have to be portrayed that way. You can be gracefully happy, proud and confident about a job well done and speak to it with appreciation and gratitude not boastfulness.

Sometimes contrasting your refusal to claim credit for your own good work makes you feel “morally superior” to anyone who is actually just comfortable doing so. This is an excuse to stay in your comfort zone instead of finding an appropriate way to actually be expressive and enthusiastic about your achievements. So, instead of having a posture of, shoulder back, chin up, “YES I DID THAT!” you congratulate yourself for being a wonderful human who doesn’t need to toot her own horn & take solace in that when you are passed over for the next promotion or opportunity.

Sometimes we are just uncomfortable when we receive praise, next time try just saying THANK YOU! Rather than deflecting.

“If you don’t find a way to speak about the value of what you’re doing, you send a message that you don’t put much value on it.” — How Women Rise

Think about your WHY. Why you do what you do, and why you want more opportunity, the next promotion or goal you’ve set. And next time you’re about to deflect your value or let it get looked over, allow that WHY to motivate you to speak up.

So don’t be reluctant to claim your achievements— you GO GIRL!

Ash XOXO

"Don't Start a Sentence with..."

Hey there!

Recipes for Success in 2020 C O N T I N U E D!

Never start a sentence with NO | BUT | HOWEVER.

“No. We’ve already tried that way and we saw how that turned out.”

“But what if that information doesn’t come through as planned?”

“However, there’s one thing you forgot.”

You can disagree with someone, and challenge their ideas, but you can do it in a way that will set the conversation up for success.

You see, NO | BUT | HOWEVER are negative qualifiers that we use habitually but don’t realize how they are a direct contradiction to what someone else is saying. You are disregarding someone else’s well thought out position. You may not mean it that way, but when someone has just been vulnerable enough to share a perspective or idea, and it’s met with NO | BUT | HOWEVER you may as well punch them in the gut.

These are verbal “ticks” that can really impact how people see us and approach us both personally and professionally.

So what do we do when we do have a somewhat critical point to make?

1) Try to find something about what the person has said to affirm and bring positivity too.

”Wow that is a great idea….”

”Yes! Thank you for that. Let’s also consider…”

2) Then, make you point without completely disqualifying what the speaker said before you.

This intentionality and thoughtfulness around your communication and speech with really encourage healthy conversation and encourage people to speak up around you! Don’t miss out or shutdown what people around you may have inside to add value! Let’s live openly and thoughtfully with one another!

XOXO

Ash

Recipes for Success in 2020 "How Women Rise"

On my recent vacation, 5 days at sea without cable, internet, phone service or a computer, allowed me the opportunity (forced me) the opportunity, to read 5 books! They were actually quite amazing and I have a journal FULL of take aways. So my next several blog posts will be letting you in on everything I learned!

This blog is based off of learnings from a book called, “How Women Rise” by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith.

RECIPES FOR SUCCESS IN 2020.

1) Don’t pass judgement

LESSON: It is better to listen first than weigh in immediately with a response.

Now this isn’t just in the circumstance of passing negative judgement on a person based on third party information or an assumption you may make about their behaviour or appearance. That’s an obvious DON’T. But it’s also when you’re asked your opinion on a decision, situation or circumstance. I had to learn this and am still learning this throughout my time in the workplace.

I’m an eager beaver. If you know me, you know that. When we would have brainstorming sessions, I’d be popping out ideas faster than popcorn could pop. This is a strength of mine, yes. BUT it can’t also make for others to see me as the type of person who doesn’t think before she speaks and is impulsive. (Which sometimes I am :P) BUT I was told that sometimes in meetings, actually intentionally try to NOT be the first person to speak, so that when I do speak it would hold a little more weight.

Back to the passing judgement on others. This is a stupid thing to do. It harms your reputation, and the person’s character that you are talking about. People don’t trust people that gossip and judge others. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but if someone is gossiping to you about someone, they’re probably doing the same thing behind your back. Be the kind of person that shuts down that kind of talk, and doesn’t participate in it either. When it comes up, which it’s bound to, a simple, I’d rather not talk about that. Will shut it down pretty fast.

So there’s the first lesson from my first book! A good one for us all to implement to make this world a better place and live life as a person who is thoughtful & respectful.

Behaviours

You ever find yourself doing something that you clearly inherited from a close family member?

The other day I found myself saying, “yes, no”. And I laughed.

My mom used to do this unique thing with my brother and I when we were kids. When we would ask for something that was just outlandish she’d use the, “yes, no.”

Let me explain.

She used to acknowledge what we were saying with a yes, and then immediately say no.

She’d say yes, and you’d think maybe she’s saying yes, and she’d follow it with no.

It’s a “yes, no.”

“Yes” I hear what you’re saying but, no.

Now whenever she would say this, it was warranted. “Mom I really want a third bag of chips” , “Mom I really want another new sweater for the third time this week.”

I have only ever heard my mom say this, but now, I’m saying it.

Yes Joshua, I know you are hungry but no, we aren’t ordering pizza for the third time in one week after 8 pm.

Yes, no.

It got me thinking about behaviours.

Behaviours are contagious. Most of the time you adapt to the behaviours of the people you are around the most.

What behaviours of yours are positively affecting those around you, helping them thrive? And what behaviours are negatively affecting others, getting in the way of their success and growth?

Let’s stewart our behaviours not only for our own good, but for the good of others. Good behaviours and habits, breed good behaviours and habits. Bad behaviours and habits, breed well, you guessed it, bad behaviours and habits.

It’s like the pizza example. I’m not ordering pizza anymore until post vacation, which means 3 months of no pizza. My disciplined behaviour will affect my husbands’ behaviour to not order pizza (well, maybe, let’s hope.) And so on!

Yes, no. Pizza. Behaviours.

That’s all for today folks,

Ash

My fake Louis

I break suitcases. I’ve probably went through 10 minimum. I think this says something about my personality... I try and fit too much in sometimes. Less is more doesn’t come easily to me (haha).

My most recent experience was with a fake Louis button duffel bag that I got in China. Boy did that thing look SHARP. It looked undeniably real, but it wasn’t. I packed that thing with as much as possible still being able to squeeze it shut between my legs and quickly zip it up. Perfect.

All my bags were set and ready to go by the door. And finally it was SHOW TIME.

We gathered all our things ready to go to the airport with our family, I got five steps outside the door, and pop, pop, pop, both handed tore off and the zipper popped from the weight.

An illustration comes to mind here. My bag looked the part, but when weight was added, it immediately broke and couldn’t not function to do its ONE job. Carry my things.

If it’s fake, it’s not going to be able to carry the weight of responsibility, the weight of its job when it’s show time.

I once heard Christine Caine speak a message I will never forget. She used the illustration of an old fashioned photo lab. That photo that is completely undeveloped, goes into a dark room for a certain period of time in order to fully develop before it brought back out into the light in order to show its true beauty.

This is much like us as people. God brings us through journeys of development so that we can be the real deal. Not fake. Tried and true and ready to carry weight.

Christine went on to say that if you took a photo out of development too early the photo wouldn’t be nearly as beautiful as the result it’s intended to have.

Same goes for us. If we try and get ahead of our season of development before our character has grown, before we’ve matured, before we’ve learned and put in the work, if we try to get ahead of God’s timing, we are like a semi development photo or a fake Louis Vuitton bag.

Let’s stick out the journey, let’s be the real deal, let’s become fully developed as we prepare to step into the big things that are next in our lives. Let’s be like a real Louis.

I bet you’ve never heard that motivational quote before.

“I’m like a real Louis Vuitton.”

Xoxo

Ashley

I QUIT!

I quit.

And I have to caveat, for any of my colleagues that may be reading this, I love you all, and I had a fantastic time and team. Sometimes we’ve just got to follow our hearts!

Sometimes you have to say no to a good thing, in order to say yes to your dream.

If you’re anything like my mom you’re re-reading that sentence with a dropped jaw. (Love you mom)

Yes, my safe, salaried, job with a reputable company with great benefits, I quit.

But sometimes you have to release one thing, so that you can receive another.

I remember once I was dating a guy who wasn’t for me, and this is totally wrong, but I kind of had the mindset that if someone better for me came along, I’d still see them and at that point could stop dating one person and go date the other. I know. Horrible haha. BUT come on ladies I am SURE some of you have been in that dating scenario.

Obviously that’s not how life works.

My dad always told me in that season, “you can’t receive something if your hands are full with something else. They have to be open and available.”

So dad, thanks—your relationship advice helped me not only meet the man of dreams who I’m about to marry, but years later also helped me make a decision to quit my job (ha-ha, he won’t necessarily like that :P)

But in all seriousness, I have often said growing up that I wanted to be Joyce Meyers. Not sure who she is? Google.

She is a firey passionate leader, speaker, author, mentor, all around gospel preaching life inspirational woman, wife and mom. And she’s 69 and STILL going. So I figure she’ll soon retire and I’ll have to take over. LOL.

But I have long had a passion inside my heart to spend the majority of my time speaking, writing, and creating content to inspire others’ to live their best lives, the fullest live, full of faith hope and love. A life chasing after all that GOD has for them.

So that is what I’m going to do. I am going to be volunteering a whole lot more at my amazing church, Slate Church, I am going to be kicking off VLOGS and a podcast in the fall, all geared to inspire others to live the best life possible as we learn and grow together. I want to emphasize the learning and growing together, because of course, I am by NO MEANS an expert haha. I’m equally as human with my meltdowns, and mistakes and needs of pick me ups and ice cream tubs and PMSing. But I have a desire to give each day the best I’ve got, and I want to bring others on that journey with me, so that together we can live our best lives.

I’m also excited to say that in conjunction with all that good stuff I will be running my media company, Bonne Media full time! I will be working with my current clients to really enhance their community presence, connect with the right audiences and bring all you folks great products and services that also inspire and help you live your best life. From beauty to food to plumbing, we’ve got a great variety of personalities on the client roster and are excited to add more! Only requirement--- be looking to add value to people’s lives.

I can hardly believe I’m doing it, but I’m doing it. Is it a risk—YES. Is it exciting—YES. Am I sure? YES.

Funny thing is, I’ve known that I was supposed to do this for a long time. About 2.5 years ago I was sitting in the basement living room of my pastors, and I was telling them how I knew in my heart I was supposed to quit my job, and pursue more speaking, writing and ministry opportunities. But then I didn’t. I played it safe. I did the “responsible” thing.

And now 2+ years later. Nothing has changed with that. I still knew what I was supposed to do. And now I’m FINALLY doing it. And I had the same conversation with my same pastors a few weeks ago. (Thanks for sticking with me guys :P )

Sometimes it takes us awhile to take what we know we’re supposed to do in our hearts, and make it a reality through our actions. Sometimes we know that God has spoken to us about something in our lives, but we try and pretend we didn’t hear it. Our hesitancy and stubbornness only delay the promise that God has for us on the other side of our obedience. And it delays the rest of the world from getting to benefit from what it is you’re supposed to do. This could play out in a simple relationship of knowing you’re supposed to encourage someone, or forgive someone, right to whether or not you’re suppose to make a huge career decision or buy or sell a house.

Seek God’s direction and voice through prayer and listening, look to His word, seek the Holy Spirit and wise council. And when you know in your heart of hearts that you’re supposed to do something…

In the words of NIKE, Just Do It!

I love this bible verse:

I will HURRY without DELAY to OBEY your commands. Psalm 119:30

I’m so excited to share some hopefully inspiring content with you all soon! And hey—if you’re a business looking to market yourselves in authentic relational ways through digital media in order to add VALUE to the lives of others, HIT ME UP!

XOXO

Ash