Replace Expectation with GRatitude

As I am sure everyone is aware, it is the American Thanksgiving holiday weekend. Instagram feeds are full of our American friends and celebrity favorites' dining room tables decked out with beautiful table wear, dishes, and finishing touches of thematic décor. And don’t forgot, the amazingly good looking food, family, and friends. 

I love any occasion to get together with people I love and celebrate—when we appreciate what we have, and celebrate what we have, and one another, there is joy built up inside our hearts and minds as we become conscious to the fact that there is so much goodness in our lives that we don’t even deserve. Often times, we miss out on the beautiful things in our lives because our attention is on things we don't have, leading us to never enjoy what we do have or what we don't have, leaving us empty. 

Along with an Instagram feed full of thanksgiving dinners, are thanksgiving quotes. One that I read said this:

“Replace expectation with gratitude”

If you simply play over a few scenarios in your mind of an expectation you have for life or a situation or a person, I think you will quickly realize that beneath an expectation we have of someone or something, is something even greater to be thankful for.

Don't let the distraction of an expectation take away the awareness, joy and appreciation of what you do have! 

Most times you’ll realize that the one thing your stubbornly “expecting” is far smaller in magnitude than all that you have already received. Start thanking rather than expecting, expecting, expecting.

Everyone will be a lot more joyful, harmonious, full, and the list goes on!

We will never truly live in the fullness of everything we have, everything we are, if we never fully appreciate in gratitude all that is around us.

Be thankful everyday for what you have, for who you have, for who you are! When you realize that all you have is enough, you have everything that you need... Thankfulness breeds contentment, which breeds joy, despite circumstances and leads to a full way of living.

ThankFULLness. Is the way to live the FULLest life possible.

Open & Hold the Door.

Sometimes we don’t realize that power that we hold.

Ever just meet someone and think… this person’s simple decision could/will impact my life drastically…

- make or break my day
- give me a huge opportunity
- take away a huge opportunity

We often identify people around us who are in a position to either positively or negatively have a huge impact on the course of our day, week, and lives, with what is to them, but a simple decision.

And we just WISH that they could realize that, and act accordingly.  

The interesting thing is this… You are always in the position to do that for someone else in some context. Someone is most likely looking to you thinking the same thing… “This person really has the ability to help me out… and for them it’d just be a simple decision.”

But more often times than not, we don’t view ourselves as being that person who can make a simple decision or sacrifice to help someone around us in a monumental way… perhaps not only changing the course of their day, but their year, their career, their life.

Intentionally look for the opportunities that you have everyday to really change someone’s life for the better, maybe through simple decisions, or big sacrifice.

I'm sure you can look back on your life and identify the people who may or may not realize what they have actually done to positively impact the course of your life. Maybe reach out and let them know. 

Seek the opportunity to open and hold the door open for someone, not just literally but figuratively in life helping them forge forward on their journey of life.

Ash

living and learning

Last week I was sitting in a Brian Houston concert and he started singing the song “How He loves us.” I had heard this song many times before, but this one line of the song really punched me in the gut… “I don’t have time to maintain these regrets, when I think about the way He loves.”
 

The past few weeks I had been stuck in a cycle of regretting things maybe I should have done, or maybe things I shouldn’t have done. And when we get into that cyclic headspace of should have would have could have, it is quite paralyzing and debilitating. It removes you totally from the active blessing and opportunity of your present and paralyzes you from stepping into the promises in your future. If we want to see God’s amazing promises and plans to unfold in our lives, and be able to identify them right now in the present, we really don’t have TIME to maintain regrets nor does God want us too. So stop it! (In absolute love I say that…)

Leave your past in the past and be in your present.

Okay but then when we manage to leave the past, all of a sudden we want the future. We want to run as fast forward as possible. But then we miss the present… Face palm.

Be in your present instead of wishing for your future. OR else you just miss life entirely because in every stage of life there is a flavor of “waiting” and anticipation for what is to come… Don’t be distracted by the wait.

I once had a friend named Angela Jones… actually she’s still my friend haha—and she once told me this: “You won’t get to your next season until you learn what God is teaching you in this one.”

The day after Brian Houston’s concert, over a delicious lunch in Calgary, Alberta I was ranting to Angela about all of the things that I wanted—right NOW! Haha aggressive, I know.  I just wanted so badly to get to what was next… it felt as if I was in a season of transition, in between, a “not-yet” season, a waiting season…

“You won’t get to your next season until you learn what God is teaching you in this one.”

So this challenged me to really take my focus from the past, and from the future and bring it into to the now, more specifically to God, right now, and what he was saying, teaching, guiding, directing for RIGHT NOW. Not even for tomorrow, or a few hours by now, but right in this very moment. And then started carrying that into each moment.

When you intentionally seek God and open yourself up to him, quieting distractions, and disciplining yourself so that all decisions to your best effort are made to be more fully aligned with Him, clarity comes, wisdom comes, knowledge comes.

So the learning continues… this past weekend I found myself in California for some work meetings and events. I walk into the first event and the band is playing, you guessed it, “How he loves” … God is so cool like that. He will continue to remind us of what he is saying and what he is teaching us. And get this, the guy singing stops the song to talk about the line, “I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves.”

All the praise hands emoji’s.

So then Eric Samuel Timm gets up with a pre-word before his actual message haha and talks about the concept of the alter throughout Scripture.

The alter is a place of sacrifice, where something dies. God’s Word tells us that we must die to ourselves, our flesh, our earthly, selfish and momentary desires in order to become a new person fully alive in His image, goodness, Spirit, power and strength.

For me it was a reminder that you can’t live a certain way, and expect your life to be a different way… if that makes any sense. If we want what God has for us, we have to walk his way and not our own. Sometimes it requires us giving up momentary satisfaction for a long-term and lasting life of fullness and purpose.

If we are depending on ourselves for fulfillment, or the world, or even just people around us, we aren’t going to be full. But if we look to God as our source we will overflow with more than enough. Where are we looking?

My adventure continues. I drive 2 hours to San Diego to meet a girl that I have never met before, but she is a well known communicator who speaks to thousands of women about where to find true purpose and love—In God.  We had connected over social media just a week prior, and I had mentioned I was coincidently going to be in California that weekend, so she suggested we meet up. I was driving to San Diego in the WORST traffic of all time, passed 3 accidents as I was venturing down the California coast, and I was thinking to myself. Why the HECK am I driving all the way to San Diego in this horrible traffic and blistering heat, I could be laying on the beach getting bronzed and and we could just Skype later… Jus’ being honest lol.

I arrived at their young adults church service and met Brittni right away—you know those people you instantly click with? I knew why I drove two hours in traffic… Brittni was one of those people for me. Just to meet her, connect with her, and now be forever friends and sisters, is worth the world. Connection with God and people is everything.

Then her husband starts speaking a message and it’s entitled, “The power of your BEEN THROUGH.”

I instantly knew, this is also why I have driven two hours.

“Your been through, sets up your breakthrough.”

The fact that you’ve been through something means you are on the other side, or at minimum it has not defeated you. It’s our been through that stretches us, grows us, matures us, and those lessons, that growing time is what brings us to our breakthrough of newness, growth in character, new revelation, strength, wisdom, and discernment to carry into our present and future.

“We overcome by sharing our been through”

The enemy will try and shut you up from talking about anything you’ve been through. Do you know why? Because it points to the fact that he couldn’t defeat you with it. He didn’t win. You’re through it and you’re actually stronger for it.
And talking about it eliminates his power over you and others. Other people realize that their been through can become a breakthrough too.

“There are two options in life: You can be determined that your confession will always be positively impacting your circumstance, or you can allow your circumstance to negatively affect your confession (and then life sucks)”

Which you choose will result in leading two very different lives. One is bringing into reality the promises of God, declaring them consistently and unwaveringly over every circumstance, and the other is choosing to allow our perhaps less than perfect circumstances to confess things not of God, not of his promises, not of faith and hope… in other words, we actually end up declaring lies over our lives. Let’s not do that!

So this may be the longest blog I’ve ever written. But I wanted to share it in it’s entirety to show you as an example of how God is working in our experiences, he is speaking to us, leading us and it’s up to us if we open ourselves up to listen and to follow. And I promise, the choice to always be intentional in listening and following is the most life giving choice you can make.

Love you,

Ash

first and last

Think about the words "first" and "last"... in different situations we have a preferred association with one over the other. For example, you may want to be first in line for the food buffet or first to come up with the next big idea. On the other hand, sometimes we want to be the last to be vulnerable, or the last person to have to give up something for someone else. And if you are in a renting a house situation, well you just hate first and last's... (my attempt to be funny) Okay I won't try that again lol. 

But whatever word we associate ourselves with, whether first or last, it's usually with a self-serving motive. We choose our preference of first or last based on what will be best for us. 

What if we turned that upside down. And in decisions that we make, consciously make them for the benefit of someone other than ourselves. 

 In a “me first” world... it's hard. 

But imagine what even just one full day would look like if you committed to making decisions with others in mind before yourself... in every way possible... 

I am willing to bet that at the end of the day, you would feel more fulfilled and purposeful than any other day living for yourself.

Just some food for thought... 

Ash
 

What are you doing?

We live in a world that is obsessed with messaging that communicates 10 step processes to become the next best _____ or 5 ways to improve your _____ and I could go on. We are all about self improvement, work ethic, and what we can do to get better, be better and do better. And we look to enhancing ourselves through our own works to do that. We rely, we depend, we trust in, our own ability to improve our lives and self.  

We set ourselves up for failure.  

Last night at church my friend Nate Lambert spoke from John 15 talking about the vine and the branch. It's so interesting to think that a branch literally had ONE responsibility, ONE must do, in order to bear fruit.  

Stay connected to the vine. From that connection, flows all else. 

Sometimes we try everything else to bear fruit in our lives in our own efforts first before we check in to see if we are connected to the vine, our source, Jesus.  

You see when the branch is connected to the vine, the vine does the work of getting the branch the nutrients it needs in order to produce fruit. It's from that place that our actions are fueled with the support they need to be incredible. 

When we are connected to Jesus, living in close proximity and intimacy with Him everyday, from Him flows all that we need to live in the way He has created us to live-- well, fruitful.

The ONLY way to live the BEST life God has for you, is to stay connected to the vine.  

Today, when you see yourself relying on your own efforts, check back in with the vine.  

Ash xoxo  

Prioritize

Yesterday was a great day. Yeah I know it was a Monday. I once saw a meme that said, "MONDAY...GO STEP ON A LEGO." Which I did think was funny, but at the same time I thought was sad. Why would we dread the gift of another day of life? No matter what we are facing, each day we are given is a gift.  

Anyhow that was a complete side note. Haha. Let's get back to it. Yesterday was a great day.  

We had a public speaking and life coach come into our office and run a training day with our leadership team. I learned so much! One thing she advised me on was this-- to figure out if there is one thing I could do "job wise" (just one) and it could be anything, what would it be? 

You see, I'm a bit of a vivacious person who loves many things and I often, "want it all" ... but if there's one thing I really want to do and be the best at, it will require focus and intentionality. It will require me to let go of other things, in order to have the time and energy to prioritize the one thing.  

And if "everything" is your priority, nothing is truly your priority.

So then I'm at church last night, and our pastor says this... "what you prioritize will become your reality."  

So good right?  

What I invest in today will be my reality tomorrow. If I'm prioritizing let's say, physical fitness, I'll be fit. If I don't. I won't. simple.  

If I want my reality to be intentional relationships with depth-- what am I doing today to prioritize that so it actually becomes my reality? 

Today, write down three things you want most in your day to day reality. Do they match your current priorities? Is that where you're investing your time? Perhaps you're aligned, or perhaps you need to make a shift.  

What you prioritize will become your reality.  

Ash  

WISDOM

My mom's favorite thing to write on any card for her kids is this: 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your path straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

So this morning I was reading Proverbs 3. And it's interesting, the writer says to trust the Lord in verse 5-6 but then continues giving us insight on what that actually looks like for 30 more verses! 

Sometimes we think trusting God means doing nothing. But trust is very action oriented and intentional.

Your actions will show who you trust-- whether it's yourself, this world, or God.

Here are a few "actions" I picked up on throughout this chapter that illustrate what it might look like to trust God. 

- Focus on Love and Loyalty
- Listen for God's voice in everything you do
- Run from evil
- Honor God with everything you own
- Accept correction
- Hold tightly to wisdom and act accordingly
- Value clear thinking and common sense
- Put other's before yourself
- Don't live in fear
- Live in the present moment
- Don't walk around bitter

Trusting God also means making good choices. Last night I was at a friends wedding and it was beautiful. As people gave beautiful speeches, there was definitely one common theme throughout-- wisdom. This couple had operated with such wisdom and patience throughout their relationship making amazing choices. Their amazing choices led them to that very beautiful wedding day with so many friends and family raving in support. 

Good choices may not always be the most popular ones, but they'll always land you where you're supposed to be before wrong choices will. They'll be a blessing and a conduit for a full life, the best life that you were intended for. 

I love the last verse in Proverbs 3...

Wise living gets rewarded with honor; stupid living gets the booby prize.

Here's proverbs 3 to read for yourself. This is Eugene Peterson's message paraphrase. See what you take from it.

This week, let's live wisely.

Proverbs 3//

3 1-2 Good friend, don’t forget all I’ve taught you;
    take to heart my commands.
They’ll help you live a long, long time,
    a long life lived full and well.

3-4 Don’t lose your grip on Love and Loyalty.
    Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart.
Earn a reputation for living well
    in God’s eyes and the eyes of the people.

5-12 Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
    Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
    your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
    give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
    your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
    don’t sulk under his loving correction.
It’s the child he loves that God corrects;
    a father’s delight is behind all this.

The Very Tree of Life

13-18 You’re blessed when you meet Lady Wisdom,
    when you make friends with Madame Insight.
She’s worth far more than money in the bank;
    her friendship is better than a big salary.
Her value exceeds all the trappings of wealth;
    nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her.
With one hand she gives long life,
    with the other she confers recognition.
Her manner is beautiful,
    her life wonderfully complete.
She’s the very Tree of Life to those who embrace her.
    Hold her tight—and be blessed!

19-20 With Lady Wisdom, God formed Earth;
    with Madame Insight, he raised Heaven.
They knew when to signal rivers and springs to the surface,
    and dew to descend from the night skies.

Never Walk Away

21-26 Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life;
    don’t for a minute lose sight of them.
They’ll keep your soul alive and well,
    they’ll keep you fit and attractive.
You’ll travel safely,
    you’ll neither tire nor trip.
You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry,
    you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep.
No need to panic over alarms or surprises,
    or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner,
Because God will be right there with you;
    he’ll keep you safe and sound.

27-29 Never walk away from someone who deserves help;
    your hand is God’s hand for that person.
Don’t tell your neighbor “Maybe some other time”
    or “Try me tomorrow”
    when the money’s right there in your pocket.
Don’t figure ways of taking advantage of your neighbor
    when he’s sitting there trusting and unsuspecting.

30-32 Don’t walk around with a chip on your shoulder,
    always spoiling for a fight.
Don’t try to be like those who shoulder their way through life.
    Why be a bully?
“Why not?” you say. Because God can’t stand twisted souls.
    It’s the straightforward who get his respect.

33-35 God’s curse blights the house of the wicked,
    but he blesses the home of the righteous.
He gives proud skeptics a cold shoulder,
    but if you’re down on your luck, he’s right there to help.
Wise living gets rewarded with honor;
    stupid living gets the booby prize.


Your body will glow with health,
    your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
    give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
    your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
    don’t sulk under his loving correction.
It’s the child he loves that God corrects;
    a father’s delight is behind all this.

The Very Tree of Life

13-18 You’re blessed when you meet Lady Wisdom,
    when you make friends with Madame Insight.
She’s worth far more than money in the bank;
    her friendship is better than a big salary.
Her value exceeds all the trappings of wealth;
    nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her.
With one hand she gives long life,
    with the other she confers recognition.
Her manner is beautiful,
    her life wonderfully complete.
She’s the very Tree of Life to those who embrace her.
    Hold her tight—and be blessed!

19-20 With Lady Wisdom, God formed Earth;
    with Madame Insight, he raised Heaven.
They knew when to signal rivers and springs to the surface,
    and dew to descend from the night skies.

Never Walk Away

21-26 Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life;
    don’t for a minute lose sight of them.
They’ll keep your soul alive and well,
    they’ll keep you fit and attractive.
You’ll travel safely,
    you’ll neither tire nor trip.
You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry,
    you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep.
No need to panic over alarms or surprises,
    or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner,
Because God will be right there with you;
    he’ll keep you safe and sound.

27-29 Never walk away from someone who deserves help;
    your hand is God’s hand for that person.
Don’t tell your neighbor “Maybe some other time”
    or “Try me tomorrow”
    when the money’s right there in your pocket.
Don’t figure ways of taking advantage of your neighbor
    when he’s sitting there trusting and unsuspecting.

30-32 Don’t walk around with a chip on your shoulder,
    always spoiling for a fight.
Don’t try to be like those who shoulder their way through life.
    Why be a bully?
“Why not?” you say. Because God can’t stand twisted souls.
    It’s the straightforward who get his respect.

33-35 God’s curse blights the house of the wicked,
    but he blesses the home of the righteous.
He gives proud skeptics a cold shoulder,
    but if you’re down on your luck, he’s right there to help.
Wise living gets rewarded with honor;
    stupid living gets the booby prize.

SIGNS

Signs are very helpful in life... in many ways. And when we fail to recognize or see signs that are trying to tell us something for our benefit, we often times experience the consequences of that in some way. 

For example. 

This week I headed to Toronto with two lovely friends to enjoy a night out of good food and baseball. First we headed out for dinner at Grand Electric, and then we proceeded to go to Junked Food Co. for their famous "Cookie Dough Cones". They happen to be on the same street just a kilometre or so a part. We still had time left on our parking pass, so I simply pulled into a parking space a little closer to our Cookie Dough Cones. We hopped out and excitedly ran in for our sugar fix. Being no more than 15 minutes, we ventured back to my car, and it was gone. 

It was one of those moments where you are in shock. Like what happened?! In the matter of 15 minutes my car totally disappears. How can that even happen?

You see, I had failed to see a sign a block away from my car, that in that particular section of the street, there was no parking before 7:00 PM. And if you did, it was an automatic tow. 

Sometimes in life, it seems like we are keeping things above water, "we have our car" and then the next minute, it has totally disappeared and we are left stranded. But all the while, there was a sign right in front of us that was communicating a message to help us avoid a problem, or in this case, a tow. 

What are the signs in your life trying to communicate something to you to help you? It's best to recognize those now, before you realize you're car has been towed. 

Ash