Don't Just EXPECT others to notice.

Happy Monday friends! I’ve got a challenging blog post for you today as you walk into this week.

Alright, let’s start with this REAL case study from an employee at a New York Law firm as documented in the book How Women Rise…

Maureen had worked at this law firm for YEARS, putting in the hard work, long hours, the dedication, detail & heart. She thought that her attentional to detail, success and consistency in going above and beyond would land her partner.

But years would go by, and Maureen didn’t make partner and others were rising ahead.

Maureen finally had enough and let leadership know that partner is what she wanted and told them she was now looking elsewhere for it. Leadership’s response was an overwhelming OF COURSE they’d make her partner to keep her. They did not want to loose her as a very high performing, experienced and valued lawyer at the firm. They just didn’t know that she wanted it.

As Maureen saw the in’s and out’s of the next partner selection she noticed when it came down to the 2 top performing employees they chose the man who had made it clear from day 1 he wanted partner the 1st year he was eligible. The other candidate who hadn’t necessarily explicitly expressed interest in partner was easily set aside from the considerations. Had she spoken up, it would have been an entirely different scenario.

Leadership’s rationale was the candidate who hadn’t said anything wouldn’t expect to get partner as much as the candidate who had adamantly expressed that he wanted it. They thought they may loose him if he didn’t get it, but the candidate who hadn’t been expressive wouldn’t leave over not getting something they didn’t event ask for.

. . .

When I read that case study I was reminded how important it is to speak up for ourselves, to claim our achievements and not just expect others to notice what we want when we haven’t put a stake in the ground about what we want.

What do you want? Set goals, and the people around you that can help you achieve them— LET THEM KNOW! In even one area of your life whether personally or professionally, put this into action this week.

Identify a goal, and the people that would be involved in you reaching that, let them know. It’s time that we value our goals enough to speak up for them!

XOXO

Ash

Don't be reluctant to claim your achievements

Hey friends! So our last three blog posts focused on different recipes for success in 2020. Our next focus will be HABITS TO BREAK in 2020! Our first one is our reluctance to claim our own achievements.

Great work doesn’t always speak for itself. If you’re not willing to be your own advocate and fan why would someone else? This doesn’t make you an obnoxious self promoter, it doesn’t have to be portrayed that way. You can be gracefully happy, proud and confident about a job well done and speak to it with appreciation and gratitude not boastfulness.

Sometimes contrasting your refusal to claim credit for your own good work makes you feel “morally superior” to anyone who is actually just comfortable doing so. This is an excuse to stay in your comfort zone instead of finding an appropriate way to actually be expressive and enthusiastic about your achievements. So, instead of having a posture of, shoulder back, chin up, “YES I DID THAT!” you congratulate yourself for being a wonderful human who doesn’t need to toot her own horn & take solace in that when you are passed over for the next promotion or opportunity.

Sometimes we are just uncomfortable when we receive praise, next time try just saying THANK YOU! Rather than deflecting.

“If you don’t find a way to speak about the value of what you’re doing, you send a message that you don’t put much value on it.” — How Women Rise

Think about your WHY. Why you do what you do, and why you want more opportunity, the next promotion or goal you’ve set. And next time you’re about to deflect your value or let it get looked over, allow that WHY to motivate you to speak up.

So don’t be reluctant to claim your achievements— you GO GIRL!

Ash XOXO

Has the "need to be me" movement gone a little far?

Let me explain.

Reading How Women Rise, they have a full section on this topic of the excessive need to be me.

There’s been a recent emphasis on authenticity in the workplace. Authenticity is great but we’ve turned it into indulging your faults or proclaiming your shortcomings as if trying to change your behaviour would somehow be a betrayal of the real you.

“I’m just not a positive person”

“I’m just not expressive”

“I’m just not a listener”

“I’m just not the self promotional type”

But if you know a behaviour isn’t working for you and you persist on doing it anyway, that’s not being authentic, it’s being stubborn, lazy, and closed off to growth and evolution as a person.

“Whenever you hear yourself proclaiming something that is just not you, you might want to question your motivation. An excessive devotion to a particular self-image can be a rationale for remaining stuck. This type of rationale will get in your way as you seek to rise.” — How Women Rise

So next time we observe a less than admirable quality or behaviour about ourselves, let’s not just blame it on who we are, but let’s seek to grow and rise and better ourselves.

XOXO

ASH

"Don't Start a Sentence with..."

Hey there!

Recipes for Success in 2020 C O N T I N U E D!

Never start a sentence with NO | BUT | HOWEVER.

“No. We’ve already tried that way and we saw how that turned out.”

“But what if that information doesn’t come through as planned?”

“However, there’s one thing you forgot.”

You can disagree with someone, and challenge their ideas, but you can do it in a way that will set the conversation up for success.

You see, NO | BUT | HOWEVER are negative qualifiers that we use habitually but don’t realize how they are a direct contradiction to what someone else is saying. You are disregarding someone else’s well thought out position. You may not mean it that way, but when someone has just been vulnerable enough to share a perspective or idea, and it’s met with NO | BUT | HOWEVER you may as well punch them in the gut.

These are verbal “ticks” that can really impact how people see us and approach us both personally and professionally.

So what do we do when we do have a somewhat critical point to make?

1) Try to find something about what the person has said to affirm and bring positivity too.

”Wow that is a great idea….”

”Yes! Thank you for that. Let’s also consider…”

2) Then, make you point without completely disqualifying what the speaker said before you.

This intentionality and thoughtfulness around your communication and speech with really encourage healthy conversation and encourage people to speak up around you! Don’t miss out or shutdown what people around you may have inside to add value! Let’s live openly and thoughtfully with one another!

XOXO

Ash

Recipes for Success in 2020 "How Women Rise"

On my recent vacation, 5 days at sea without cable, internet, phone service or a computer, allowed me the opportunity (forced me) the opportunity, to read 5 books! They were actually quite amazing and I have a journal FULL of take aways. So my next several blog posts will be letting you in on everything I learned!

This blog is based off of learnings from a book called, “How Women Rise” by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith.

RECIPES FOR SUCCESS IN 2020.

1) Don’t pass judgement

LESSON: It is better to listen first than weigh in immediately with a response.

Now this isn’t just in the circumstance of passing negative judgement on a person based on third party information or an assumption you may make about their behaviour or appearance. That’s an obvious DON’T. But it’s also when you’re asked your opinion on a decision, situation or circumstance. I had to learn this and am still learning this throughout my time in the workplace.

I’m an eager beaver. If you know me, you know that. When we would have brainstorming sessions, I’d be popping out ideas faster than popcorn could pop. This is a strength of mine, yes. BUT it can’t also make for others to see me as the type of person who doesn’t think before she speaks and is impulsive. (Which sometimes I am :P) BUT I was told that sometimes in meetings, actually intentionally try to NOT be the first person to speak, so that when I do speak it would hold a little more weight.

Back to the passing judgement on others. This is a stupid thing to do. It harms your reputation, and the person’s character that you are talking about. People don’t trust people that gossip and judge others. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but if someone is gossiping to you about someone, they’re probably doing the same thing behind your back. Be the kind of person that shuts down that kind of talk, and doesn’t participate in it either. When it comes up, which it’s bound to, a simple, I’d rather not talk about that. Will shut it down pretty fast.

So there’s the first lesson from my first book! A good one for us all to implement to make this world a better place and live life as a person who is thoughtful & respectful.

The next 10 years is FULL of endless potential

I hadn’t really considered the fact that this New Year’s Eve was different than others. It was the end of a decade and the start of a new one. That got me thinking about the span of 10 years, and what has happened in the past 10. I wanted to get a sense for what I was able to accomplish in the past ten years so that I could gage what could be possible in the next ten.

In reviewing the past ten, it is INCREDIBLE what growth we can experience in our lives in the matter of ten years. Growth, relationships, friendships, accomplishments, experiences, lessons— it is truly incredible. Not only incredible but EXCITING as we look ahead to the next ten ahead of us. What is it that you want to accomplish? Set your expectations high, work hard, put plans in place and achieve the life that you want to live!

Just a few sentences ago I said, “I wanted to get a sense for what I was able to accomplish in the past ten years so that I could gage what could be possible in the next ten. And that’s true, but in the middle of doing that I was reminded that what has transpired in the past ten years is nothing short of God weaving together a beautiful narrative of my life that I could not have done outside of Him, trusting Him and his leading and his voice.

When we put our ives into God’s hands and approach each day with the attitude and posture of, God lead me, guide me, speak to me, and give me the faith, strength and provisions necessary to be obedient. When we live like that, what we would think is impossible becomes possible with God.

Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” Matthew 19:26 NLT

Not only does the impossible become possible, but when we commit to following God’s leading in our lives, we get to inherit the promises he has made to His people.

I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jeremiah 29:11 MSG

My hope is that you find encouragement in those scriptures and the fact that I am a living testament to these verses being true in my life, and there are many many others who too have decided to seek God out in day to day life, to seek his direction, wisdom and strength and see the real fruits of that start producing in their lives. And it’s for everyone. I hope that maybe this encourages you to approach 2020 with an open of mind of multiplying what the next 10 years can mean for you, for your family and friends and community, by inviting God into the picture. For me, this past decade meant travelling the world over, moving several times, going from a new reporter to working for a Christian non-profit around the world, to corporate marketing and then launching a business. It meant completing many education endeavours up to my masters, it meant going from knowing no one where I lived to meeting my best friends, single to my husband, owning no home to having a home, establishing a foundation in my local church and digging in, and so much more. There’s so much that can happen in 2020, have faith and persevere!

Here’s my look back on the past 10 years with a little lesson or observation from each. This activity was one I largely wanted to do in reflection, but I figured I’d share in hopes that in some way you are inspired to really go for it & not give up on what 2020 and the next decade can be for you! I hope you enjoy!

2010

Looking back, I think this year reminded me of the importance of setting a solid community of family, friends, mentors and leaders in your life, that are in your corner, wanting the best for you, cheering you on & investing in your life. When you meet those kind of people, hold them tight.

• Started university at Memorial in Newfoundland setting out to complete a joint Business & Arts degree.

• Began teaching voice and piano lessons at a private studio in Paradise Newfoundland

• Travelled Florida by myself for the first time on a flight to meet my cousin, aunt and uncle for a New Years trip!

• Attended my first leadership retreat as a part of Shelter Youth Leadership Team with Pastor Matt and Kayla Joy. We had a weekend together dreaming and planning for the year about what God wanted to do in our city and how we could practically help carry that out. We also did some digging into our personalities and strengths as leaders. This was very special, I don’t even think at the time we realized that it was the start of a decade.

• Moved to Toronto to attend Tyndale University for a semester and study Youth Ministry.

2011

This was a year of learning that sometimes it’s the non “sexy” things in life done well that really get you ahead. I had moved back from Toronto to finish my degree at home, settled into a routine, and learned to do the day in and day out well.

• Moved back to Newfoundland to complete my second year of university, realized math wasn’t my strong suit, switched university programs to an ENG + Comms double major with a French minor.

• Playing soccer with all my best friends on a summer house team

• Ran the Tely 10 race with my family

2012

This was a year of trying new things. I had always wanted to play varsity soccer, but I had never tried out. I thought hey, I’ve played and loved the sport my whole life, let’s go for it, and I made the team! Sometimes you just need to take the opportunities, the chances, and work your butt off. It’s both saying yes, and then working for it. Another “yes” was the Miss Newfoundland Pageant, which I didn’t win the overall title, but did win Miss Fitness, which further developed my interest in inspiring other women to pursue the BEST version of themselves, one in which cannot be separated from physical health and wellness. This is something I still am passionate about today as a fitness instructor.

• Turned 21, had a “Great Gatsby” themed party that I thought was so cool.

• Participated in the Miss Newfoundland and Labrador Pageant & won Miss Fitness.

• Started playing varsity soccer for Memorial University travelling & playing

• Did spin classes like skittles at New World Fitness with my mom

• Did a family Florida trip to New York city

• Went on a massive family + friends trip to South Beach & a Caribbean cruise with my entire family, cousins and about 5 other families, it was amazing!

• Had my first recital with my piano and voice students

• Started a diploma program alongside my degree in performance and communications media. This program led me to direct my first play, produce a documentary, write a play, write and direct a commercial and many other amazing hands on lessons that I would later bring into the marcom world.

• Started an internship that evolved into a job . at CBC News in St. John’s, landing my first on air reporting story.

• Accepted a job in Guelph, Ontario with The Gideons International In Canada and started to prepare to move! :O

2013

Wow. This was an exhilarating year for me. I landed my dream job at CBC news and graduated from my undergraduate degree (everything that I had planned checking off my list, I did) but I also quickly learned that God always has BIGGER plans than we could imagine, and for me this year, it was taking an incredible job opportunity in Ontario. This was the year that I really embodied “living by faith” and saying yes to what I felt God calling me to do no matter how crazy it seemed. Being obedient to those promptings equals an adventurous life let me tell you. I remember reading in my journal from this year that every decisions you make is either in flow with the Holy Spirit or against. I always want to be batting for the right team.

• I moved to Ontario! This was a huge adjustment. I flew up by myself and met my car in a parking lot that was stuffed with all of my belongings.

• Started my new job as a Communications Coordinator writing magazine articles for their publication, managing their social media and doing some French translation.

• Started going to a brand new church, Koinonia, joined their young adults group, a connect group and the worship team!

• My entire family visited me in Ontario and we had a little staycation in Toronto

• We went on a family trip to California!

• Travelled to Colombia and Chile with work

• Graduated with my degree & diploma!

• Travelled to Miami & a cruise with my family

2014

This year I learned that anything is possible. I remember being in Sochi, Russia at an Olympic hockey game, looking around, seeing the Olympic flame, and just being in total awe of where each little “yes” had gotten me.

• I went to Russia with The Gideons for the 2014 Winter Olympics in order to do missions work and gather stories of the impact the organization was having on the ground

• Travelled to each province in Canada with work in order to talk about my experiences with the organization in Russia, Chile & Colombia as we raised money to continue the work!

• Moved into a new house uptown waterloo with some new girlfriends I had met.

• Started my Masters program at Tyndale Seminary in Theologoical Studies

2015

This was a year where I learned that sometimes you have to remove yourself from a situation to learn that it was actually the right situation. I had gotten an incredible job opportunity in Toronto, it was with BellTV downtown Toronto and was seemingly my dream job. I had always wondered if I should go back to television, so I guess this opportunity was the one that was saying, “okay Ashley, here, want to try it?… see, you’re meant to be where you are.” That was kind of what I learned in 2015. So I moved back to KW & continued my work at The GIdeons. But hey— I learned SO MUCH within that season that I took back to role at The Gideons. Take advantage of every opportunity to learn and soak up as much wisdom and practical experience and character growth as possible!

• Moved from Waterloo to Toronto to take a job with Bell TV in marketing and communications with their local TV department.

• Graduated from my Masters Program

• Travelled to Europe with my family visiting dream cities like London, Paris, Venice, Rome, Greece, Barcelona, Croatia and Turkey.

• I went BACK to The Gideons International In Canada with a dream job as a SendMe Manager, I got to build a nation-wide youth program, getting youth and young adults in living their lives on mission, getting to speak at hundreds of conferences and events throughout Canada and lead many missions trips throughout the world.

• Led my first missions trip of youth and young adults to Moldova to run safe summer camps for children and share with them about God’s love.

• I visited Sweden and Amsterdam with my friend Adrienne.

2016

As I expanded the SendMe youth program throughout Canada and began an internship program, I realized that I truly did have an entrepreneurial spirit. I knew I had the strengths and wiring of an entrepreneur, and it did run in my families blood, but this was the first time I really had the budget, and the support of an amazing organization to really run with a program and spear head it to grow with all of the ability in the world to get creative with it!

• I expanded the SendMe program hiring my first 2 employees and starting an internship program with 5 interns. I moved into a new apartment with my childhood friend Julie.

• Travelled to Brazil and Moldova again with teams of youth and young adults completing missions work.

• Started attending “The Embassy” church leading worship and speaking

• Met my best friends Meghan and Karli

• Travelled to Nashville for the first time with my bestie Karli

• I started a new role at The Gideons International In Canada, Artist Partnership Manager and had the incredible opportunity to go on tour with For King and Country for 3 weeks throughout the US fundraising at their concerts for Bibles overseas.

• Travelled to Florida with my Family for my 25th Birthday

2017

This was the year of LOVE. One of my favourite years of all. I learned that you can look for love all you want, but it often times shows up like a surprise at your doorstep. For me it was a surprise introduction at Karli’s country concert to Joshua Lee Webber. I knew the first day spending time with this man that I wanted to marry him. Our first Christmas home visiting in Newfoundland was magical, it is

• Continued working at The Gideons and had some incredible opportunities to work alongside Eric Samuel Timm in California as well as with other artists across Canada.

• Travelled to Nashville with my bestie Karli

• My bestie Meghan moved into my apartment with me

• We went to many many many country concerts of Karli’s

• I went to Florida for Easter with my girlfriends Victoria and Grace

• I met and fell in love with my husband

• My parents visited me and met and fell in love with my now husband

• I went to New York City with my family

• I brought my husband home for Christmas

• Started a new job at Sun Life Global Investments in marketing. This opportunity afforded me the amazing experience of managing the corporations social media, including that of our President! I also had the chance to help plan huge advisor events in Whistler, Toronto, a Roadshow across Canada and get to attend!

• Moved into a new house with Karli and Meghan

• Teaching spin at NF

2018

This was a year of falling in love, getting engagement and living out the dream that I had had as a little girl of planning a wedding, having engagement parties and showers and wedding dress shopping weekends.

• This year I picked up golfing because, well, my husband is obsessed. :P And it’s a fun sport! And it meant I got to be a member at Westmount— the prettiest place in Waterloo with the best breakfast might I add.

• Josh and I went to blue mountain with Lisa and Mark for a staycation birthday celebration that was so much fun!

• I went to Florida with my family, our home away from home. St. Pete’s beach has been out place of recharge and relaxation for many years!

• We travelled to Newfoundland for a summer vacation & that’s when my husband proposed at Signal Hill. We celebrated as we vacationed in iconic Newfoundland villages like Trinity and Port De Grave with my parents.

• We had an amazing engagement party in KW with our friends & family, a wedding dress shopping weekend with all of my bridesmaids in Toronto, Langdon Hall staycation, beautiful showers in KW and Newfoundland— and lots and lots of wedding planning!

• Christmas in NL with our venue visits, meal tastings, decoration shopping, and a Christmas wedding shower!

• I started running a side marketing business called Bonne Media

• I trained & instructed with Hustl & Flow cycle studio

2019

This year was the best year of my life. I started my life as wife to Joshua Lee Webber. We had the most amazing time in Newfoundland with all of our closest family and friends, an incredible honeymoon in Jamaica, followed by a summer of bliss at home as we built what is our home. I also launched my marketing company, Bonne Media FULL TIME! Cycling at Cyclone AND my bestie got married, and then Josh and I took a somewhat spontaneous trip around the world! We had a beautiful first Christmas in Waterloo and another one in Newfoundland and rang in 2020 at Signal Hill.

• Florida family bachelorette trip

• Bachelorette weekend with my girls @ Langdon Hall / Cambridge Mill / Cottage / Blue Mountain

• Lisa’s family shower & Karli & Meghan’s friends shower

• Wedding week / wedding

• Jamaica

• Launch Bonne Bedia full time

• Megs bachelorette @ Elora Mill Spa

• Meg & Ben’s wedding!

• Completed my first marathon with Joshua

• Friendsgiving & Thanksgiving + pumpkin carvings & halloween fun @ Kentucky

• Travelled to London, Paris, Barcelona, Palma, Malaga, Cadiz, Portugal, Canary Islands, Carribean

• Starting instructing spin @ Cyclone!

• Had our first Christmas in our home in KW & then travelled to NL for a second amazing Christmas!

FLORIDA STATE