BOOK REVIEWS!

I recently read Michael Strahan’s book, “Wake Up Happy” and Gallo’s “5 Communication Secrets to get from Good to Great” — I’d give both maybe a 7/10 but here are a few nuggets that I jotted down as I read! I hope they inspire you today!

“Wake Up Happy” Michael Strahan

• Grit, desire & discipline are free and the only equipment you need to start just about any endeavour you’ll set out to do.

• What did you do to get better today?

• You can’t change other people but you can change how you are around them, and more than not, that’s enough.

• There’s more power in your attitude than your bank account.

• The “12” rep mentality. Always add the extra two, it helps train your brain to push past what you think is possible to achieve more.

• One step at a time, a boat can’t leave a harbour in one swift move, it has to push out from the dock, it has to turn, and then go full steam ahead. Take things in order, one step at a time.

5 Communication Secrets to get from good to great. - GALLO

• The only thing computers can’t do is create an emotional connection that is integral to persuade anyone to join, buy, sign up or follow. If you have the ability to do something technology can’t, your value in the work place just went way up.

• Oxford researchers concluded that automation will eliminate 47% of jobs that humans do today in the next decade. People who know how to talk and talk well, will be rewarded and those with the ability to inspire will also be successful.

• Warren Buffet claims mastering the art of public speaking is the single greatest skill a person can acquire. In his office isn’t his many accolades, just one public speaking certificate.

• John F Kennedy’s election heralded a golden age of poetry and power. Kennedy translated his ideas into language that fuelled on of the greatest achievements in history.

• Ideas cannot build upon one another without advocates to argue for them and evangelists to spread them. In a world build on ideas the persuaders will be the people with competitive edge in a world where automation is King.

• Successful entrepreneurs create a narrative people want to be a part of.

XOXO

Ashley

Find your tribe & love them hard!

Social connectedness makes life worth living and is directly related to success and achieving whatever you defined as your definition of having it all.

PERSONAL TRIBE

Who can you count on to support you on the way to reaching those goals and who would you want to celebrate with when you do or commiserate with when you don’t.

It’s the people in your core squad that you should be wanting to celebrate with and commiserate with.

Core squad should be people that are validating, cheering you on, encouraging, reminding you how awesome you are! SIDE NOTE: MOST of the time people often need a reminder of how awesome they are not why they suck, they' probably are aware of that.

BUT with that being said, you do need people in your corner that know where and when to challenge you or keep you accountable.

Another important squad quality is CONSISTENCY. They don’t necessarily have to be physically there all the time, but they consistently have your back and won’t freak out if it’s bee a minute since you chatted.

PROFESSIONAL TRIBE

Mentor: Do you have a mentor in your field who is ahead of you?

Therapist: Seeing a therapist or councillor is like having a trainer for your brain!

Life Coach/ Pastor: Helping you live a life that you have set out to live.

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

This is more important that choosing the right job or career. These things come and go, but your ride or die, will be supporting you through the whole journey. Choosing the wrong partner can send your emotional wellness into a tailspin affecting everything and derailing everything. Choose wisely.

I once read this as a good BASE LINE guide: “S-U-P-E-R”

S: Secure
U: Understanding
P: Principaled
E: Educated (not necessarily schooled but learns
R: Romantic ** This is actually REALLY important. This is the only relationship in your life you will be exercising this facet of love and life, so it’s important that there is intimacy and chemistry there!

Work Less & Do More

We all hear this, but what does it actually mean.

Did you know that a traditional work week is 5 days but research shows on average only 2 are productive.

Work less & do more = get intentional with your calendar!

Having a planned routine of intentional activities is a lot more productive and less exhausting than an equally full schedule of mindless activities and business.

Creating a schedule and sticking to it is truly the only way to really evaluate where you are truly investing your time and gives you the opportunity to ensure that is aligning with your priorities and vision for life.

ie: something as simple as switching from checking my email every hour or mindlessly while waiting in line for my Starbucks and only checking my email twice a day 10:30 to capture anything that has come up in the morning that may need my immediate attention, and then at 3:00 when I can capture anything of priority that needs attention before the end of the day. This is WAY more productive and I’m checking less “working less” but doing more! I’m freed up to accomplish things when not mindlessly checking emails.

When I do check my emails, I have 30 minutes where it has my FULL attention and i”m not distracted in a different scenario from what I was doing in that moment like enjoying a morning coffee or devo. Having a schedule you stick to on your terms also trains others to be aware that you aren’t at their beck and call rather you are strategic and will get back to them at your strategic time so they don’t actually detract from something you may be doing FOR THEM on your scheduled time.

That’s just EMAIL. Imagine if we take that approach to everything that we do!

OTHER PRODUCTIVE TIPS:

Create your bucket schedule Monday to Friday and fill in the blanks with

1) What’s already scheduled today

2) What could I potentially do from my running list

3) What is most urgent and in line with my goals?

• Do what takes most energy first and get it over with so it’s not disrupting the rest of your day in the back of your mind.

• Sometimes procrastination is GOOD. “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow!” PRIORITIZE. Maybe it doesn’t have to be done today, so you can delegate it to a different day so you can actually do today what HAS to be done today. Procrastination actually means PRO - “forward” in latin and CRASTINUS “belonging for tomorrow” !

XOXO

Ashley

Boundaries Baby

Time for some border control in life.

You know roughly where the lines is in various areas of your life, right? But would heads of countries be okay just kind of knowing where their border lines were? If they were just roughly drawn?

HECK NO.

It’s time that we start valuing our time, ourselves, our lives enough to but up some strict border control. Here are some categories to start with:

1) OTHERS CANNOT:

2) I HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK FOR:

3) TO VALUE MYSELF & MY TIME, I CAN :

If you have a workout scheduled that is a part of your intentional “having it all” and a moms group invites your to brunch at the same time the day before, it’s okay to say you have an appointment.

I could give 1,000 examples of ways that sometimes we just allow others to determine the course of our days. We’ve got to keep strong against compromise or it will become constant and your intention setting we talked about on Monday was a royal waste of time. There’s no point in setting intentions if you are going to let anything and anyone push that of course.

It may seem like a little thing, and it’s only once, but then it’s twice and twenty times and three months pass and you’ve made no progress in any goals that you’ve set, and you’re not at all living the life that you set out to live, and you definitely don’t feel like you have it all.

Do it yourself chronic over achievers (like myself) want to crush any commitment they’ve made, but they make too many. Taking on more and more, and there comes a point when too many YES’S will crush you or dilute everything you’re doing.

Say the right no’s so you can say the right YES’s.

TIPS TO SAY NO.

Use an active voice: “I can or can’t” rather than “ I would or I might.” Use a 5 sentence rule. You don’t have to go on and on forever.

Thank you Sandwich: Be appreciative of invitations and opportunities, state what you are alternatively focusing on right now, and end with a suggestion for something that may work in the future, or if you want nothing to do with the invitation or opportunity, offer something of value, an idea contribution, a referral, or a compliment. And then be thankful again.

Gab union once said, I swear the second I learned to say no, that was the best anti-aging I could do for myself.

XOXO

Ash

Leaning OUT and Leaning IN

Define what it means to have “it all” for you & then devour it.

You can’t do it all, but can you have it all.

You see, having it all looks different for everyone at different seasons of their lives. No one has exactly your responsibilities and circumstances and no one combines those with precisely the same goals. Having it all will look different for everyone, and that’s why it’s so important that we examine ourselves, our lives, our goals, to really figure out what that looks like for ourselves. We can’ simply subscribe to what the world tells us is having it all but we must truly discern that for our individual lives. It’s also important for us to realize that what that looks like will look different season to season. Right now having it all may look different than it will in 5 years. When we’ve determined what that looks like for us in this season of life, we create action plans to get there!

Remember, you can do anything you want, you just can’t do it all at once. So planning and prioritization are key. Otherwise you’ll just have a mess.

Sometimes you actually have to lean out, not in. This isn’t being lazy but making mindful choices about how you spend your time. Over extending in too many areas of life often results in accomplishing very little and drains energy and motivation. And again you’ll just have a mess.

We have to lean out of the things we haven’t defined as a focus right now and not shame ourselves for it.

“Enter activity or commitment here” simply doesn’t line up with my vision and goals for this season, so unfortunately in order to really fulfill what I am focusing on, I can’t commit to investment into that.

A huge part of “having it all” is not having what we don’t need / or have as top priority in this season. We must lean out of things that aren’t a part of our focus in this season in order to have the energy to lean into what is our focus this season!

1) Acknowledge having it all and doing it all are not the same. Write down what it looks like for you to “have it all” in this season of life. Prioritize and plan what that can look like.

2) Take out your calendar, start pencilling in an action plan week to week that reflects your goals and “having it all” if you want to know what’s coming to fruition in your future just look at what’s in your calendar. If it doesn’t line up… well you may not achieve what you’d hoped you would. Find the time suckers in your life that don’t line up.

It’s about doing the right things but it’s also about NOT doing wrongs things.

You get to decide and define what “having it all” look s like for you. And to achieve that, you have to start setting up your day to day to achieve it. It’s not necessarily about doing these HUGE things to accomplish something, but it’s in the day to day routine that add up to a year and a lifetime.

If you don’t define what winning means for you, you are destined to feel like you’re loosing even though you’re not. You’re just unaware of what you’re accomplishing and will feel directionless and no further ahead.

Think about it this way, if you don’t know where you are going, but drive around all day, you won’t know how much closer you are to any destination, you’ll feel lost and annoyed, confused and no where. We need to set our desired destination, or lifestyle and work towards it. It’s time to get intentional.

Figure out where you want to do in life and reverse engineer how to get there, you can’t just jump in a car without knowing the address and expect to magically arrive at your destination.

Only 3% of people set clear intentions and actually write their goals down. But on average those people earn 10 times as much money than the other 97%. This is in no way just about money, that’s just one statistic that CLEARLY shows how much more productive, fruitful, effective and successful we can be when we set clear intentions..

Some categories to help you start setting intentions and define your desires and goals in life are… family, friends, faith, finance, fun & fitness.

Have fun :)

XOXO

Ash

Find your WHY.

There was a study done at Yale that observed Janitors and their career satisfaction. Those that viewed their job as one that contributed to the goal of healing and helping people, were much happier overall than those that approached it as just “a job”.

What’s your why, your mission, behind your job, behind your day to day commitments and activities? Dig deep, there’s got to be something. And when you define that, or create one, you’ll be more motivated than ever before. All of a sudden the tasks that annoyed you before will suddenly be manageable because you know the WHY that they’re contributing too.

Without a clear why, it’s hard to stay motivated and determined, and hey, without a why— what are we really accomplishing with our lives?

Maybe you’re saying… “But I hate my job.” — Maybe it’s not the job. Maybe it’s you? I know that sucks to hear and feels harsh as I even type it. But it’s a powerful thing to come to terms with. Maybe it’s time to put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror.

There’s a popular concept in positive psychology called job crafting. Job crafting helps to reframe your mindset around what you do.

1) List what you’d do in your dream job

2) List what you hate about your current job

3) List what you love

Examine your lists. Start with what you hate. Which of those might you be able to change or limit interaction with. Or is it simply a challenge that you can experience personal growth by pushing through?

Look at what you love. Which of those align with your dream job list? Perhaps they are actually very similar or are what you need to get to your dream job. How might you be able to elevate your current opportunities to become an open door to operate within your dreams?!

Now, all of a sudden a job you hate is a possible an open door that can become your dream job or become a season of growth to get you to your dream job!

• Find your WHY

• Find how that can be implemented NOW as you’re on your way to crafting your dream job!

XOXO

ASH

Building a life you LOVE!

If you don’t love your life, it’s never too late to start again.

Sometimes it’s easy to find ourselves in a bit of a “rut routine” the rut becomes the routine and we begin to accept it, allowing it, and almost… well, really, choosing it. If you are finding yourself there, it’s never too late to BEGIN again.

STEP ONE
It starts with defining what you’d LOVE your life to look like. Write it down, dream big! We’ve only got one life here on earth so we may as well GO FOR IT.

Okay, you’ve got the beautiful life on paper? Great.

STEP TWO
Now, I want you to write out a separate list for each thing that you want in your life. This list is going to be actions or activities that logically would help you achieve or see those things come to fruition.

STEP THREE

Now I want you to write out everything you usually do in a week currently. Great, done? Now, I want you to cross our everything that DOESN’T help you get what you want, things that are out of line or detracting from what you actually want. Those have to go. (Now if it’s something like laundry, okay we all need to do that, those are actually day to day things that WILL lead to the life we love because I think a life we love all includes wearing CLEAN CLOTHES) So be logical here!

STEP FOUR
Now, we’re going to work on your calendar. Your NEW calendar. Because your everyday life becomes your life. Let’s make sure we start to LOVE our day to day plans. Let’s start pencilling into a week’s routine the activities that we wrote down that will help us achieve the life we want.

NOW…

This is where we have to be committed. It’s up to us to actually push through the tough days and actually DO THIS THING! It’s not always going to be easy, but it’s about longevity and consistency and you’ll start to see the fruits of that life you want!

Maybe you wrote down you want better friendships— it’s going to take more than 5-6 awkward hang outs to all of a sudden have a best friend.

Maybe you wrote down you want to be fit? Three months to really see results, and that’s CONSISTENT working out.

So what I’m saying is give it your all and give it time!

“The way you choose to fill everyday and exert your energy will determine your life’s entire direction. Where you end up next year or in 10 years is determined by the choices you make now! “

— ASH

XOXO

SUPERWOMAN vs SUPER - WOMAN

It’s time that we kill SUPERWOMAN.

SUPERWOMAN is the concept that we can literally do everything at once. Which the attempt to do so leads to burn out every time. And it’s time that we focus on being a SUPER woman.

A SUPER woman is the concept that we can actually do anything we want to, but it can’t all be done at once. It’s the concept that we are SUPER at prioritizing, defining what is look like to “have it all” for us individually in our current season. (Knowing that it could change in the next season). A SUPER woman defines what it looks like to “have it all” right now, in their current season, and they prioritize to focus in on that. WITHOUT comparison to other people’s season… (that’s the hard part).

Behind every successful SUPER woman is herself! Make S - E - L - F a 4 letter word that LOVE and prioritize. You can’t pour from an empty jug. You can’t do all your good willed things unless you’ve kept yourself healthy: emotionally, physically, spiritually.

Studies show that we need to be intentional on building a care strategy for these areas of our lives everyday. Going hard at everything else and expecting to take 1 full day to recharge and go again isn’t actually going to fill your tank. We have to do this daily to optimize being your best in the everyday. “But my week’s are so busy” self care doesn’t necessarily have to take up hours of your day. Maybe it’s:

emotional care: listing 3 things at the end of the day that you’re proud of.
spiritual care: start your day with a scripture reading and prayer. Set the tone for you heart, mind & soul.
physical care: workout! maybe it’s a walk, maybe it’s an intense cycle class with yours truly ;)
mental care: REST! Go to bed at the same time, wake up at the same time. No phones for an hour before bed. Sleep in the dark— many benefits to a better sleep cycle.

When thinking about your S-E-L-F care, Harvard health studies have shown that gratitude in particular contributes significantly to your happiness, which makes you more productive and successful.

Just think about the word “appreciation” it means two things. Increasing value over time and giving thanks. So you want to appreciate (grow)? Then APPRECIATE (live in gratitude!).

More on being SUPER woman versus SUPERWOMAN next week. But for now, work on writing out a DAILY self care plan and try sticking to it for a week! We’ll check in on how you feel next Monday. It’s all the little things that add up to your entire life! Don’t discount what 10 minutes at the beginning and end of your day could do for your overall week and happiness!

XOXO

Ash